Uni Shenanigans

It's been a long time since my last post but things have been so busy, such is the life of a student. Just kidding, all I have is time.

Since being at uni I have discovered many things about myself. Firstly everywhere I go I will receive a new name, and am now used to everyday use of Marlene. Thanks guys? Secondly I will ALWAYS have the piss taken out of me, because supposedly I am a biter. Chomp Chomp. People like that apparently? Lastly, I have discovered I cannot be alone for an extended period of time. I am in constant need of company, and find myself getting incredibly restless when sitting in my room alone for more than five minutes.

Its been an enlightening time! I've been here just over two months now and it has all been incredible so far. The people I have met are all the most amazing people and I find it so difficult to think about not seeing any of them for over three weeks during Christmas! When you go from constant, 24/7 contact, to nothing, how do you deal with that? I love them all so much, but I am definitely ready to go home. It's hard being surrounded by English people who can all just jump on a train or drive home for the weekend. Makes being away from home much more difficult and many a times have I felt an uncontrollable need to hug my mummy and daddy, and jump on my little sister. I miss them so much! At least I have my older sister here to look after me whenever I need her, only 30 minutes train ride away :D

These past weeks have been filled with movie nights, essay writing, presentations and parties. Everything you could expect of university I suppose. Only two weeks now until the semester is over though, where has the time gone? And to think, only two months ago I was so afraid of what awaited me. There was no need to be afraid. Its everything I could have ever wanted.

 

  

"We stopped looking for the monsters under our beds when we realized they were inside us"

4am. Tick. Tick. Tick. It's not a clock. It's the sound of your mind churning. Where do you go when you want to escape from yourself? Too many monsters.
I'm suffocating inside the circle of the monsters. The circle within myself.
My mind is foggy, but I can see you clearly. I'm scared, and I'm running. Running, Sprinting. I'm right where I began. A conveyor belt moving in the wrong direction. Turn it off. I'm Tired. I'm drunk.
Too many monsters. I can't escape.

Rules

Too many rules. Our lives are governed by the rules that have been set for us, by us, by society, by morals, by you.

Would we be happier in a world void of rules? Or would it just become chaos?

We as girls are unable to act in the ways of the opposite sex for fear of rejection, judgement and ridicule. But strip us of our outsides and what is left? We are all the same deep down.

Deeper, and deeper until we are empty. We are nothing but what everyone else is. But some things hurt me harder. Some things pain me deeper. How? 

There are no exits left, we crash landed into the deep. So just sit and wait for the water to consume you. Eventually we will hit the bottom, no matter how far down it may seem. The pressure is too high down here. My ears are bursting with the whispers that hide in the watery shadows.

How could you just leave me here? Lure me into the plane, with your helpful hand and hypnotizing smile. Then let me sink to the bottom as you glide to safety, floating freely because you left all the weights of the past strapped to my ankles. 

I can't move on. Cemented to the ground. My body sways and floats but my feet are stuck. I'm drowning.

Don't break the rules, even if it will save your life.

Welcome to the University of Surrey

I'm here and getting settled finally. I know I haven't updated you all for a while but things have just been so busy and hectic! It's freshers week and I'm all moved in, pictures are up on the wall and shelves are full of things. Surrey is awesome! The town here is so cute and the campus is beautiful. Its massive though so I'm still trying to figure out my way around! 

Next week we start actual classes, both exciting and intimidating! In the mean time here are some pictures of the goings on over the past week! :D

Boxes and Bags, Goodbyes and Thank Yous

THREE DAYS. I am leaving in three days. It's starting to become more and more real with every passing day, and I am finding it slightly difficult to contain my imminent freak out.
My room is empty, although somehow manages to still be messy... I've had to say goodbye to everyone these past few days, all my work friends and people I've gotten to know over this year, all my old friends who have headed to uni. Had to say goodbye to this cutie, who's made me realize two things. Little Kids are adorable, but I will not be having my own for at least another 10 years! They are a lot of work. But still adorable :P

                     

So many things to worry about, but I'll take it one step at a time. Then hopefully living on my own wont be a total disaster...

Packing Adventures

Trying to pack. Life is looming over me. If only this was easier...

How can one possibly fit their whole lives into a suitcase? I'm barely packed and I still know as a certainty that once I get to England, that one thing I forgot to bring, will be the only thing I need. One week never seemed so short!

From last night, was bored and saw I hadn't posted in a while. So just some random questions to inform you all about myself :D

Do you have any pets? Nope, But in my life time we have had a few, Budgie, fish, turtles a cat. None now though but hopefully my family will get a dog soon!

Name three things that are physically close to you: My Laptop, a Suitcase and a University Checklist. Eeek! 

What's the weather like right now? It's night, cold, around 16°C. I don't think it's raining but ill find out soon enough as I head off to work :/

Do you drive? If so, have you crashed? Nope, sadly not (about the driving not the crashing). I've just had no need for it here in Switzerland because public transport is so good! I'll hopefully get it soon though.

What time did you wake up this morning? I woke up at 11 I think, didn't go into work until 2pm so no need to wake up early.

When was the last time you showered? This morning, at around 12?

What was the last movie that you saw? Kick-Ass 2. Was enjoyable although somewhat gory. 

What does you last text message say? "haha thanks love! I hope your work thing goes well! I'll be missing you:)"

What is your ringtone ? Uhh, the usual iPhone ringtone? Nothing exciting.

Have you ever been to a different country? Oh where do I start? Been all over the place, All over Europe: Spain, France, Germany, Croatia, England etc etc, Asia: Thailand, Bangladesh, Singapore, Malaysia, Nepal, India, Africa: Morocco, Egypt, America: East and West Coast, New Zealand, Australia. Probably a lot of others I can't remember now... My family LOVES to travel!   

Do you like sushi? HATE sushi. Can't do seafood.

Where do you buy your groceries? My family buys them in Germany because its cheaper there than here is Switzerland! But if I ever buy things I go to the coop.

Have you ever taken any medication to help you fall asleep faster? Nope, although after long flights to NZ sometimes I wish I had them!

How many siblings do you have? Two sisters, Sonya and Nell.

Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? Just the Laptop.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday? I'll be 20!

Do you wear contacts or glasses? Nope!

Do you colour your hair? No, no. It's naturally this red. Who said you can't detect sarcasm over the internet?

Tell me something you are planing to do today: The day is over, I slept and went to work (looking after a two year old) then came home, got ready for work again and now am almost off for my lovey 8 hour shift in town. Oh the Joy.

When was the last time you cried? When my UK visa was refused the first time and I started freaking out about my future...

What is your perfect pizza topping? Hawaiian all the way!

Which do you prefer, hamburger or cheeseburger ? Don't really like mince patties or hamburgers/cheeseburgers in the first place but if I had to choose it would definitely be a cheeseburger!

Have you ever had an all-nighter? Yes, many! some for good, enjoyable reasons, others not so much.

What is your eye colour? They're blue!

Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke? Uh, no. We did an experiment in school. Everyone thought they did, no one actually did. I prefer non fizzy drinks anyway so don't really try out the 'difference' often.

Life Rolls On...

The last week or so has been very busy, with friends leaving to uni, family coming to stay and life preparations being done. Everything is falling into place finally because did I mention, I GOT MY VISA! So it will be goodbye Basel, Hello Surrey soon enough! No more stressing about whether or not I will actually be going to uni, only stressing about the reality of what is now definitely going to happen...

Other than that, Annika came back from Florida and how else do we celebrate her return, other than an incredible girls night out at Singerhaus? We spent the night sitting at hagestadt, taking bathroom mirror photos with roses, playing fussball, and of course dancing the night away!

Sunday Dinner

We had visitors from New Zealand staying over the weekend and went to this super cute restaurant in Lörrach, Germany, The Osteria Mättle. The dinner may not look that appetizing but man was it delicious. Cheese and Pesto stuffed gnocchi, with Riccola!

Oh and did I mention the wine glasses were amazing? So big, you could have almost fit the whole bottle of wine in one of those bad boys! Not sure the parents would have appreciated me taking the whole bottle of wine though... maybe next time. 

Our visitors left on Monday but now we have my Aunt and Uncle over, also visiting from New Zealand who arrived today. Busy busy busy! But I guess that's good, less time to stress about my impending visa and life. 22 days.  

Birthday Celebrations

Amazing night last night spent with all my favorite people! We booked a lounge at FAME for my beautiful best friend Maja's birthday and after spending the early evening eating chocolate covered strawberries and taking photobooth photos we headed off to the club which consisted of dancing, drinking, catching up and just having an incredible time! An early 5.45 am tram ride to end a night you didn't want to end was to be expected I suppose. Today, even though it is her actual birthday, will not be spent celebrating sadly as we are both back to work, there is no end to the madness. 

Let's party!

It's this beautiful girls birthday! And tonight we celebrate! We both managed to get the night off work so finally have a chance to spend a little time together before we both head off to uni! Love you so much baby! These last four years have been the most incredible years and I couldn't have survived it without you! Even though we will only be a half hour away, I will miss you so much! 

Simpler Times

We work all our lives, in the hopes of having enough to provide for the life we always imagined. But in the process we forget that we are not truly happy. Always stressing about not having enough. Not having enough money, enough things, enough beauty, enough time.

What's the point? If we are all so afraid of time running out, then why do we waste ours in sadness and monotony? 

Time for a change perhaps.

Pressing Pause

Yep. Pretty much sums up my entire life.

No One Knows What the Future Holds

Have spent the past days trying to sort out everything for the big move, but I can't help wondering whether it will actually happen. First try visa application, resulting in a refusal of entry. The next one needs to be accepted or its another year, pottering around at home, not achieving all that much! Three weeks until I know for sure, Here's hoping!

Aside from this worrying, things have been working out quite well, everything else is sorted, plane tickets are booked and my new life is finally starting to get organised! For the first time in well, forever, my electronic calender has a use, and is filled up with all the events and lectures and welcome events for September. All that's left now is to find a job, because otherwise I can kiss a social life goodbye. One can't "party" in the absence of a little cash now can they?

Is it normal to be FREAKING out? As much as I am excited, this whole "living on my own" thing is new to me. I fear my survival! At least I have people only a half hour train journey away who I can run to and curl into a little ball in the corner of their room and cry. It's always nice to know you have that :D

New Life

I'd just like to point you to the fact that this is my university. 

There is a lake INSIDE my uni. Isn't it pretty?

One month! Where did the time go? 

Hidden Messages

Things aren't always what they seem.  

Get By With a Little Help From Our Friends

Well, its been an interesting couple of days. A lot of fun, mixed with alcohol, mixed with drama. But even though we fight, and we hurt ourselves and each other, somehow we will always manage to find the solution and fix what we broke. It just takes a little patience and a lot of understanding. Is that the meaning of friendship? I hope so, because I don't know what I'd do without you.

This was the last weekend before our gap year circle is broken, and we all go our separate ways. It's been an amazing year, and through it all we have stuck together and enjoyed every last moment (most of the time at least :P) 

Maja, Noam and I finally had our pre-party photobooth sessions again, and sadly they are our last ones together before Noam leaves to uni, so we obviously made the most of that, with hundreds of semi decent, slightly tipsy photos! Where would I be without such wonderful yet such weird friends? 

Sadly no celebrations tonight as Maja and I are back at work, but perhaps a couple, depressed, early morning half price drinks to make our job seem a little less horrible. 

Wish me luck...

Mending My Mind

Why are you the way you are? So much want, all forbidden. Leave me out of your mindless games.

You call me up and I melt. Melt on the outside with desire, and melt on the inside with hate. Hate for myself? Hate for you? Hate for the way things are. Leave me be to wallow and forget, don’t keep reminding me of why I can’t look my conscience in the eyes.

One week, vivid. Two weeks, images. Three weeks, blurry. Four weeks, forgotten. That’s all it takes to block the memories, to reject the ideas of what could have been when you leave. One day, repeated, relapsed. You’re back.

Am I addicted to you, or the idea of you? A drug? Or just a childish obsession. You string me around like a puppet and I am unable to fight my own compliance. Stuck in a glass box, too fragile when played with to rebel. Just set me down, so I don’t fear breaking, and can gain strength on my own.

There are many of us. Juggled around one at a time. I am the only one that knows about the others. Does that make me less foolish, or more? I alone carry the burden of knowledge, and yet I am only good for one thing. But that’s not enough for me. I won’t be THAT girl.

Find another “change” and another “little bit of excitement” because I have finally broken out of that glass box. I am not fragile or weak. I will be able to look at myself without guilt or hatred. I will not fill the box of stupidity like everyone expects me to. I will no longer be addicted or hypnotized or controlled.

I know who I am, and I am not THAT girl.

New Here

I'm new to the world of blogging so bear with me as I get the hang of things! I thought it would be a good idea to get myself a blog because it's helped me keep in touch with the lives of others and I thought mine could serve a similar purpose for them! 

Well I guess I should use the first post to introduce myself properly! My name is Marlese Geraets and I'm a 19 year old from New Zealand. I had never been outside of the country until the age of nine when my parents decided out of the blue that we would be moving to Bangladesh, a tiny country next to India, which I had never heard of before! But I was young and excited for a change of pace. It certainly was one amazing experience, but sadly after two years we were packing up and moving on again. All things happen for a reason though, and this move brought us to the wonderful Switzerland. We were only supposed to stay two years, but that turned into three, then four. And here we are eight years later, still in Switzerland! It's my home away from home. I will soon be leaving Switzerland and moving to the UK to study Hospitality, but hopefully will be back here in the not too distant future! 

THE FAMILY

This blog will likely include anything and everything that is happening in my life, friends, family, travel, photos, clothes, parties, food and perhaps a little dramatics every now and then. 

AND FRIENDS

Want more information? marlese.geraets@gmail.com :D